Finally cracked the code, huh.


((Yah we're both going. Come say goodbye if you like T^Tb Open til infinity and whatnot))

We have a problem.

Age: 34...or so.
Height: 6'1"?
Weight: probably 180-190 lbs.
Medical Info: Is infected with a virus called Foxdie, and is aging rapidly due to either the Foxdie, the fact that he's a CLONE, or likely both. Aside from accellerated aging, he's in good health! Occasional dizzy spells, and can get exhausted.
Eyes: Green.
Hair: Brown.
Physical traits: Extremely well-built and muscular, heavy-set.
What's Okay To Mention Around Him/Her: Anything at all! Nobody's mentioned Old Snake and Old Snake SUCKING GUN to him yet, and actually, Snake killing himself in those previews is the ONE THING I don't want him to know about, but other than that it's all good. You can even worry about him, and he'll just promise he won't die. Because he is a hero. S-SNAKE DON'T LEAVE US
Abilities: GODMODE, he has the power of cutscene stunts and has fought shamans, tanks, women who can't be shot, vampires, cowboys, floating psychics, a crazy twin brother, METAL GEARS, snipers, god it just goes on. Metal Gear is secretly just a SECRET AGENT VERSUS _______ WHO WINS. And the answer is always Secret Agent. Also, the Box Trick works, it's a meta rule.
Notes for the Psychics: Snake is playing on the fourth port, so he has complete psychic protection. YOU CANNOT READ HIM! This is. Canon.
Can I shapeshift/bodyswap/spit at/step on/etc?: Just contact me!
Hugging/Kissing/Other non-violent physical contact: Sure thing. He actually gives really great hugs. Just ask Otacon!
Maim/Murder/Death: Contact me if you wanna arrange a fight, as I adore them! However, by principle of law, Snake can't lose a serious fight, because he's Solid Snake, so I don't get him into fights with people who can logically kick his ass. If he ever has to be up against someone like that, I'll probably go meta on them and go for their camo (aka tranq them until they can't see straight).
Cooking: Absolutely. You need to SURVIVE out there on the BATTLEFIELD, after all. He can probably make soup out of car tires and water.

Oh fuck, why not. Why do I have four characters, why.

Nobody knows who Snake is wtf. IF YOU KNOW WHO HE IS AND LIKED/DISLIKED SOMETHING, PLEeeeASE LET ME KNOW.

((IC anon meme wut all three characters stfu.))


Can't say I've been where you can see me very often.

((Continued from here, weeee~))

*Turns suddenly on Dante and backs him up against the wall.*

Solid Snake.

Play the games.

Boys don't sell the game right. They talk about stealth, they talk about hardcore. Oh yes, Metal Gear Solid has that. Snake is the coolest fucking thing since hot toasted bagels smeared with cream cheese.

But it also has ninjas.

And psychics.

And a half-naked twin wrestling match.

And a skin-tight Sneaking Suit.

And instructions to put the controller against your neck for a vibration massage.

And a naked torture scene followed by naked cartwheels.

And infiltration by disguising yourself as somebody's gay lover.

And you DO IN FACT hide in a box to get away from enemies.

And lay porn magazines down in their path to catch them off-guard.

And see some of the best goddamn well-acted cheesy action flick cutscenes you will EVER. SEE.

SO WHY HAVEN'T YOU PLAYED.